State of Mind 2

Wilderness Retreats
Blue State: Exorbitantly priced resorts used to get away from the stresses of the city and business world. Often involves spa treatment and rounds of golf

Red State: Ramshackle cabins or compounds used to get away from the stressful attention of the State or Federal authorities. Often involves writing manifestos, cooking up meth or stockpiling firearms.

If - March 29th

Haven't done an If segment for a while, play along at home
IF..

You were to prescribe a cure for grief, what would it entail?
Time and good friends. It will take time to soften the blow and then time spent with good friends to put life back in perspective.

You had to pick the nationality of people that you find the most attractive, which would it be?
I would have to say that the women I have seen from a number of the Eastern European countries namely former Czechoslovakia & Yugoslavia are hands down the most beautiful.

You could have your portrait painted by any painter in history, to whom would you give the commission?
John Singer Sargent. He captured not only the likeness of his subjects he captured their personality. His subjects always held a nobility about them no matter who it was.

You could say one sentence to the current Pope, what would it be?
You know, the whole ant-gay and anti birth control thing probably was important when the chosen people needed to procreate, but we've kind of passed that point.

And I would like to thank our friends from Britain & France

The USA is about as popular with the world as herpes right now. Not a surprise since our foreign policy is in the hands of Dick Cheney. On a "in good hands" spectrum that ranks right around trying to keep your daughter safe by sending her to the R. Kelly/Roman Polanski Camp for Troubled Nubile Teen Girls.

Yes, we are stirring up a ton of shit and yes it hasn't made anyone safer anywhere. Part of all this stems from trying to clean up messes. The US is responsible for a number of messes we try to clean up later. That's what happens when you project power, sometimes you remedy one problem, but the side effect is a bitch. After just finishing up a book I am reminded that much of the messes the world is dealing with today branch out from one direction, the the great colonial game played out between European powers.

If you look at most of the trouble spots in Africa & Middle East at the very least, you can probably trace some foundation of their troubles to colonial ambitions of Britain, France or one of the lesser European nations. They fucked over the native population by sucking up their natural resources with little return. They often did their best to tear apart the local culture to make it in the image of the colonizer.

And in their inherent wisdom, Europeans created what would become new countries out of agreements they made with each other. Putting together long standing rivals in one boundary was not a problem as long as Britain was ok with it and fit well with colonial companies plans. Why do so many of these countries have some many problems today? Try putting together a new Nation made up of White Supremacists, Nation of Islam, Atheists and Neo-Cons. See how that works for you. It's called grease fire in an ammo dump. Not a big surprise when you consider that most of these countries did not exist as truly independent until 50-60 years ago at best. We've had a long head start on them, hopefully they will peacefully elect and re-elect a cumbubble of a president themselves before long.

Sure we have screwed up plenty of countries, but I just wanted to give a shout out to our pals overseas, the world just wouldn't have been the same without you

Inside Man

It's been a lean period for movies out in the theater for a while. Fortunately I just saw a movie that ended the drought.

Inside Man with Denzel, Jodie Foster, & Clive Owen and plenty of other good cast members. Although the story left me with a couple of questions, overall it wasa nice clever heist movie, always a good time. The dialogue was lively, the setting nicely done even if it was a bit static and the pace kept at a good tempo. Spike Lee directed it and it has to be one of his better movies in a long time. Definitely worth the ticket price and missed car payment to pay for the popcorn, candy & drink

State of Mind

Jeff Tweedy pointed out that there are no Blue or Red States, if anything they are Purple. Very true, there are pockets of liberals and conservatives all over. Some places are deeper shade than others for sure. For those folks out there who are confused, allow me to give you today's example of the color state's state of mind.

Bear Hunting
Red State: Requires outdoor attire, knowledge of their habitat, and considerable skill in tracking them.
Blue State: Requires stepping-out attire, knowledge of proper search terms for craigslist and possible trip to local flea market, arts district or clubs.

Vegas, Baby

I was writing a long post about Vegas but it just wasn't going the way I liked it. Here is a brief capsulization

My roommate Gerald lost $1,000 in the first hour and a half we were there and may have made some of that back up by the end.

We had to help the bachelor, Jeff back to his room twice. Once Saturday about 4 PM, then again about 4 AM. At least he spread it out 12 hours.

Vegas topless clubs are fun after all. Apparently I just didn't like LA strip clubs, been so long since I been there not even sure why I didn't like them. Cesar and John asked me if I was going to sign over my Saturn to one of the dancers. The way that Saturn is running, I've heard worse ideas.

Gerald had a dancer at Cheetah's who had drank too much curl up in his lap and fall asleep. He was moistly asleep too so it was quite the Kodak moment. At least he can now claim he slept with a Stripper in Vegas.

I got propositioned by a pro in the lobby of the Flamingo. Message to all professional sex workers, make sure you have waxed all of your moustache line. Whiskers on kittens and not whiskers on hookers are one of our favorite things. Ho'staches are just not good.

Finally, driving back from Vegas on a Sunday is as bad as I thought it would be

Do Not iTune While Sleepy

I was buying a variety of music on iTunes the other night. I was going to cherry pick some Smashing Pumpkins songs. I dozed off and the next thing I know I see the display saying "Downloading song 5 of 28" Well, I bought Mellon Collie. Fortunately, it's a good album. Maybe getting rid of the extra dialog box that asks if you really wantto buy an album wasn't such a good thing.

Scumbags in History

Thomas Alva Edison:

Most Americans know Edison for his multitude of inventions. No doubt, the man knew how to think out a problem and surround himself with good engineers as well. But why dwell on the typical, I'd like ot take this oppurtunity to mention that he could be a piece of shit as well.

First of all, the man knew how to promote a product. He was in a running battle with Westinghouse who favored alternating current electricity, while Edison was sponsoring direct current. Part of Edison's big push against AC was that it was "too dangerous". To demonstrate this he displayed electrocutions of stray dogs & cats. Yup, you heard me right, he flipped the switch on dogs and cats. Even fried an elephant which had gone wild and killed some people at an exhibit on Coney Island. It was apparently filmed as well for demonstration. Although he was against the death penalty, he did allow his employees to design an electric chair operating with AC. Now that is going the extra distance to put your competitior's product to the test. I don't think I've seen anyone recently kill live animals as part of product comparison.

Edison didn't just invent his own products, he incorporated other people's products as well. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Edison and his people were ecstatic about George Melies' Le Voyage dans La Lune, an early Science Fiction film that was quite amazing for the time. Apparently some of Edison's men saw this groundbreaking motion picture and knew how important it was going to be. So they had copies made and then distributed them in the US before Melies had a chance. I guess royalties were not in vogue back then as Melies was stiffed.

So, Thomas Alva Edison I salute you. There were people far better than you, there were people far worse than you.. all in all you were a fine scumbag of your time

Dickhead of the Hour

A couple of friends caught on to this winner. Republican State Senator from South Duhkota Bill Napoli describes an acceptable exception to his states abortion ban (and prospective step back to the 50's):

BILL NAPOLI: A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life

Anyone else think Billy boy had played this one out in his mind many times while just flogging it for all it's worth. Most likely while doing research on a number of incest themed websites.

The list of States that I would like to see removed off the map continues to grow.

More Dad

My Dad keeps on taking more strides as a computer user. The man still has a problem with clicking the damn mouse on links too many times, but he now knows how to get on ebay, bookmark links and use email.

Considering the email I received from with the hot blonde shaking her breasts in a flash (no pun intended) file I guess I need to alert him to the proper usage of email subject line warnings.

Belated Dadism.. but a good one

Watching Super Bowl with friends, upon seeing commercial for new Escalade

Gary: The new Escalade is going to add 4 more inches
Me: Jesus, like that thing needs it. It doesn't need to be any bigger, now I could use an extra 4 inches
Dad: Yea, that would give you an even six

Mindhunter

My friend Naomi is going to be going to school for Forensic Psychology. This would be fascinating, something I think I would enjoy learning. I am fascinated by FBI Behavioral Sciences Unit and how they profile serial killers.

I've read a number of books on profilers and serial killers. It is interesting and scary in how the profile of a serial killer on the surface can sound like a lot of people we know. Fortunately only a relatively few damaged individuals go down this path, often something bad in childhood warping their sense of what is right or wrong.

I think profiling would be worthwhile, yet I could also see it just wearing me down with the horror these fuckers create.

Considering this and previous post I think I have a winning combo for Yahoo personals:

Hi, I'm Steve, I like talking about sex and serial killers.

Yea, the emails would just be flying in

Spin Offs

In an effort to kick myself in the ass to write more I created my first spin-off blog, Seconal and Astroglide

This blog will be strictly dealing with sex. It's not going to be anything for purient tastes, but it will be a wide ranging look at sexuality as I see it today. I've spun it off to a seperate blog in order to keep this one clear of it for the casual reader. We will have no casual sex in this blog. Casual sex elsewhere is quite ok. Now to see if I actually write in it beyond the welcome

Music Matters

10 Favorite Musical Acts Currently (In No Particular Order)

1. REM
2. The Minus 5
3. House of Freaks
4. The Decemberists
5. The Delgados
6. The Mendoza Line
7. Simon & Garfunkel
8. Johnny Cash
9. Bob Dylan
10. Coldplay

Stick Your Caramel Apples Up Your Ass

While walking around Seattle we walked by The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. They have some of the most amazing looking specialty apples on a stick. These things look so good your blood sugar spikes by just looking at them.

Well, while admiring these things my friend Mary noticed a letter posted on the window. It was a rather long professionaly styled letter addressed to the people who take the bus. Apparently, the city's construction necessitated a temporary move of the bus stop to right in front of the store. The proprietors were asking the people waiting for the bus to please not stand in front of the windows and block the view of the items since the window was there main means of advertising.

The wording may attempt to be professional but the meaning was clear. You "bus people" aren't our customer and you standing around just blocks the view of our real customer. This stupid letter would force more people to cluster closer to the windows to read the damn thing than they would have normally done. As Mary pointed out it was so passive-aggressive it was ballsy. Like "professionals" trying to talk down to the little people as if they wouldn't understand the situation.

Well you know what, they probably don't care. Nor would I. If your business is that dependent on a relatively few people walking in due to your display, your business model is fucked. Many of the people taking the bus do so because it's affordable for them. They aren't likely going to shell out a few bucks for a sugar globbed apple. They also are not likely to be jammed in front of your window so tight the average pedestrian couldn't still see the goodies.

Don't get your Rocky Mountain panties in an uproar, if temporary difficulties cut into your usual business routine.. find new ways of attracting customers. If you can't handle that, you deserve to go belly up.

Repeat After Me

Well, after one of my usual long disappearances I hope to keep the blog updated more often. File that with "the check is in the mail, I'm from the government and I'm here to help..etc" But enough with that, I am here to tell you the new catchphrase you need to use.

This was related to me in Seattle. A friend of a friend was playing a gig out in Middle Nowhere, Texas (I think it was Lubbock). After the show a guy comes up to him and say "I'm not gay or anything but I really love your music."

Now, only in a select few Red States would you need to qualify your enjoyment of music with not being homosexual. There are various levels at which I find it unneccessary, but you can figure that out. The point is.. this is a great lead in for anything.

"I'm not gay or anything, but.."


Try it, it's just plain ol' fun.