Who Needs The Alps When You Have The San Gabriel Mountains

Yahoo featured a little segment on cost conscious alternative travel European Alternative Destinations

For example, if you are interested in architecture try Prague instead of Berlin. I can see that.

If you are into art forget Paris try Culver City. What in the name of Van Gogh's left nut you say? First of all, if you aren't from Southern California you probably don't know Culver City. Secondly, if you are from Southern California you probably don't know Culver City. To say I was surprised to find that this unremarkable city is now the hotspot for up and coming artists is an understatement.

My surprise at this fact is equaled in the fact that anyone with a shred of common sense would have the balls to compare the two. Given the choice only a flaming francophobe would choose Culver City. Let's see.. Left Bank or West LA? Arc de Triomphe or The Golden Arches? It's about the whole experience if you want to travel. If you have tunnel vision when you travel you either have plenty of money and time to travel as you like or you are just an idiot.

Hey I can drive 25-30 minutes and get to these galleries. And guess what? I've been to Paris more recently than I have to Culver City.

For The Wanker In Your Life

Do you know someone who enjoys flogging the dong, priming the pump, jerkin the gerkin or tossing off a batch of orphans?

Well then you need to purchase this little gem for them. The embroidered Cum Rag! No more kleenex, no more TP, this is the environmental friendly answer to climax control and recovery.

So, grab a pud and a smile!

Fishpen Anyone?

Watching TV I stumbled across the ideal gift for anyone on your list. Who you don't really like all that much. The amazing Fish Pen! Fish Pen
It's the fishing rod that folds up so small it looks like a pen. You can put it in your pocket and take it anywhere. Because you never know when you are going to suddenly get the urge to try to reel in a couple of blue gills.

I'm not sure why they felt it necessary to make it look like a pen. It's not like fishing is some kind of taboo or even interesting behavior. I could see making a dildo look like a magic marker or having your NAMBLA membership card written so it only shows under black light. Discretion is needed at times. Fishing rod though, no.

I guess it is one of those gadgets that people think is cool just because it's there. Because fishing at the spur of the moment just isn't happening. In my area the only time you are going to reel in something live is during the bi-decade floods that swell the Los Angeles River. And that's going to be some asshole that thought it would be cool to try and cross it. You could go down to Santa Monica Pier but if you are going to plan a day out for some fishing you might step up to a real reel.

Maybe if you live in a more rural area you could break out the mini rod & reel to catch something. But if you catch something then where the hell do you put it? Your pockets. Hang it on the line over your shoulder so you have dead fish slapping on your back. Well, considering some of the folk I saw in Montana I suppose that is a strong possibility.

I encourage you to check out the commercial on the website, it's one of those beautiful infomercial moments.

"Wow,I always catch something with my Fish Pen"
Wow, and I can always score a hooker in Tijuana but we both know there are better alternatives.

"The Fish Pen, it's the greatest gifts I could give my Grandkids"
A. You really should be barred from seeing them because you make them cry with your shitty gifts. Little Jenny asked Santa for a Barbie Dream House and you gave her a food dehydrator and a book detailing how to make tasty jerky from game.

B. If your grandkid thinks this is the best gift ever then you need to petition the court to give you custody because it's obvious your children are unfit parents, or the money could be better spent buying little Bobby that new safety helmet and drool bib.