This Old Winehouse

I am shooting to get one or two new phrases thrown into the modern lexicon. If someone is staggering around drunk like a complete asshole then they are: "Doing The Winehouse" or "Chasing Amy".

Has anyone seen a bigger loser than Amy Winrhouse? I've seen someone comment that it is such a tragedy that such a talent is doing this. A tragedy is a bus crash that kills a kid. This fucking moron is shooting to be immortalized for dropping dead on stage from doing too much blow in between songs. I generally don't make light of addiction but if she is just all too happy to write a hit song over ignoring her condition then by all means feel free to drive right off the cliff shithead.

She has barely made it into celbrity status and they already need to clean up her image. I think they need to take advantage of her condition and work the lovable drunk angle.

I'm thinking of a movie where she goes to Iraq to entertain the troops. She does a rail of coke, drains a fifth of whatever is close and then stumbles out of the hotel looking to score some quality heroin. She then stumbles into an Al Qaida meeting by accident and all hilarity ensues. I'm picturing her chasing around these nefarious types with a empty bottle of booze in a Benny Hill-esque episode. I can hear the music in my head. Someone get word of this to Hollywood so we can get started before she keels over.

Spam

I've been inundated with spam for a while now. Most of it goes to my bulk folder but even that is a problem since yahoo has a habit of putting something I want in there too. Trying to go through several dozen headers can be a pain. Not sure what all I've missed. I will probably have to get a new email address. That will be such a pain as I have so many onlione accounts tied to my current one. Not to mention I will miss some of my favorite emails:

Keep Her On It All Night (Who, on what? Come on be more specific. Is a Jehovah's Witness on a Trampoline going to come to my door)

Be Patriotic, watch the All-American Cocksucking Championship (I couldn't find this on ESPN, Fox Sports West or the networks. Is this on that new Versus channel?)

Gain 3 inches immediately (Again. Be more specific. Nose, waist or ass no thanks.)

This of course is in addition to the hundreds of offers I have received to sell my timeshare. I wish someone would point me to the damned thing so I can cash out. And of course I could buy enough viagra and cialis to give the entire NBA stiffies. So look for a new email address coming soon.

Classic Moments: Put your White Foot in, Put your..

Ten plus years ago at a wedding (can't recall who). DJ's fire up The Hokey Pokey. Possibly one of the lamest tunes that show up at large gatherings. Only the Chicken Dance comes close and at least there's no singing in that.

Much like The Chicken Dance, white people actually join in on this stupidity. Apparently people from the midwest and plains states are genetically encoded to want to dance to this.

All these whitey's on the dance floor putting their left foot in and the left foot out or something like that.

The DJ's two black guys up on stage laughing their asses off watching these fools. Right then these men were my heroes.