Anyone Want to Be A Hero?

Would you want to be a superhero? At face value it would seem like a no brainer that you would want superpowers. Who wouldn't want to be able to fly, be invisible, benchpress SUV's, or have a myriad of other powers?

Couldn't these powers be a curse as well as a blessing? Would you feel obligated to use your powers help someone at every opportunity? Would you use your powers to commit crimes? Could you take the pressure of having to save everyone from everything or at least feel like you should like the superheroes in the comics do?

Perhaps some power would be good. I for one wouldn't want to be the super duper super hero. Superman is the most extreme example. Superman is basically bullshit. The man flies all over the world constantly looking to prevent some catastrophe. You know how impossible that would be. There are billions of people out there and several million of them at any given time are doing something totally fucking stupid. And every one of them would be calling you out when you couldn't bail them out.

I guess if you narrowed it down to only going after the major disasters it might work. Where do you draw the line on who gets saved? In the comics good ol Supes saves people from major building infernos to even someone in an auto accident. Good, while you are busy with the 2 people in the car wreck a ferry just went tits up in the North Atlantic drowning 45. The man would be so busy, he would barely have time to eat let alone anything else like sleep or sex. In between the sleep deprivation and severe blue balls his flight path would be erratic as hell.

I guess classic Superman only did his thing in Metropolis, which of course would make it easier, but how pissed off would the people of neighboring Wilsonville be if they had a disaster that was left to the regular folk while Superman was piddling around with minor criminals in his town.

Superman is at the far extreme, fortunately the more modern superheroes are more "human" with powers. That in itself is scary. Think of some of the people you encounter on a daily basis and imagine them with super powers? There would be more people dying than being helped either by accident or design. How many people would step up to protect the regular people from the Super Bastards out there? Fortunately, I believe most people want to do the right thing. Some would use their powers well to help others and a vast majority of others would do little to help but at least not do harm.

I don't think I could be some front line guy fighting criminals. I think I would get pissed off so often seeing what they've done that I would end up obliterating some of the scumbags. That's generally not considered to be nice Super Hero behaviour. For me, I would probably like to be a super genius. I would be the one creating all the super gadgets for the caped crusaders.It would be cool to make wild gadgets that gave you tremendou power, but also taking care of life's little annoyances with one's inventions would be worthwhile too.

I think a leading invention would be a non-lethal device to modify people's behaviour. It would be called The Defecator. Basically, point the device at a person and it shoots a beam into them that makes them unload their bowels. No real harm, but if you just made them totally shit themselves it would probably stop them from fighting someone, driving too fast on the freeway or a variety of life's other annoyances/dangers. You piss me off, it's poopy time. If the person is still going even after they've shit all over themselves then I would know they are deranged and I should run away from them, or hit them with the Crotch Rocket.

Fortunately, I have no such worries about how to use super powers, but if anyone out there acquires some give me a call. I've got ideas. I'm a geek, it comes with the territory.

Workin Hard For Yourself

Saturday I went down to my Dad's and helped them out with some yard work. Digging out some plants and moving them around in the backyard.

First thought on yard work is always "ugh, I hate this". It's work, I really felt how bad of shape I'm in. I've got a killer sunburn on the back of my neck and I will probably be walking like I'm 70 tomorrow. But after all considerations it's a good thing.

The soreness and tiredness are all from a result of hard work towards accomplishing something. It's like strenuous exercise to get into shape or prepare for a marathon. Building a deck on your house, planting trees in your yard or any other home improvement. All of these activities can be tough work, yet rewarding.

Just the physical labor alone is rewarding in getting your muscles moving. The exertion and exercise alone isn't what is most beneficial. I think the work that is being done to improve your life is what makes it a "good pain". You can do manual labor for a living and get the same physical benefits but it doesn't do the same for your soul.

In the case of going down and helping out with the yard work, my payoff is being able to help my Dad & Step Mom. They've given me so much, that being able to help them out makes it well worth the effort. I highly recommend beating yourself up a bit to do something worthwhile.

Yea, my fat ass, and leg, arm etc is sore but it's a good thing.

MTV makes me want to use my .357 for a remote control

While talking to my friend Hez we both switched on to MTV just for kicks. I rarely watch MTV, because it seems that virtually all of it's programming is hip-hop, rap or Top 40. The majority of that just sucks in my opinion. Furthermore, MTV has reveled in catering to the lowest common denominator for a while. It took just a few videos to remind me why I hate MTV.

Let's start with your average rap/hip-hop video. It will contain the artist and...

A) His entourage B)Hot Ass Girls C)Everyone from the neighbrohood

The location will be

A) Nightclub B) In or around a mansion, especially the pool C) A stage with video/light display backing them up D)The neighborhood

Typically the artists will perform while everyone else around them will be dancing. And there you have it, hip hop video made simple.

I saw a video from Gwen Stefani, don't know what the song was but it was pathetic. She was dressed up like a chola and hanging out with all the homies. Give me a fucking break Gwen, are you that desperate to grab some fans that you are flitting back and forth from one makeover style to another. It's like she is spinning the Ethnic Identity Wheel, "Oh look it came up Stereotyped Urban Latina, wheeeeeee". Hey, maybe this is who she really is, which begs the question who the hell was she all those years before and did her husband realize it. Hope you enjoy your new lifestyle Gwen, at least until you switch to a new one.

Oh, and then in minutes we got the Black Eyed Peas. I will give them credit for making a fitting song for NBA promos with Let's Get It Started. They basically pissed away all that goodwill with everything else. The songs are godawful and they're biggest attraction, Fergie just looks like a porn star on the downhill slope of her career. She either looks pretty worn or looks like someone was liberal with the cosmetic work. I think even I could score with her if I had some high quality junk on me. I know I know I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. When the book is worn, stained and being rubbed against someone's crotch, whaddaya gonna do?

So MTV, I salute you for bringing music videos to the masses. Then abandoning them altogether until you decided to spin off several other channels eventually going with MTV Hits and MTV Jams which generally look to be the same. You've set the bar low, let's hope we can reach it.

Time Out For Music

I have picked up some new tunes last month. I haven't gotten around to listening to everything but I do have a couple of recommendations

Grant Lee Phillips - Nineteeneighties - Sure, he's loaded his album with great songs, but dammit it still sounds great. Some songs stand out more than others, I Often Drema of Trains and The Killing Moon being my favorites. These are just favorites at the moment, all of the songs are good and worth checking out.

Single: How It Ends by Devotchka - I discovered from the last half of the trailer for the movie Everything Is Illuminated on the Good Night & Good Luck DVD. Nothing complex about it, fairly simple instrumentaly. There is something about the singer's voice, this sound that is fairly plaintive. Fortunately I found the info on adtunes which has a great forum when you want to know music you see on TV/Movies in the US. Unfortunately iTunes' clip doesn't quite do it justice

Single: I Fought In A War by Belle & Sebastian - Another one I had seen in a movie, This time I had actually just listened to it a couple of hours before by strange coincidence as I had just bought the album Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like A Peasant. Starts off very spare, but it builds to a nice rhythm with some nice simple arrangements. It fits well at the end of the documentary Why We Fight

Someone Just Put This Guy Away..Now

Eric Norman Olsen age 28, is a very sick man. He was accused to inappropriately touching a 10 year old girl in a class he was substitute teaching.



This in itself is serious, not many people are held with more disgust thatn child molestors. Eric decided to one up the charge, or make that 200 up it. When the police questioned him he claimed he had molested up to 200 girls over the 3 years he has been a substitute teacher.

Although the police are saying they are taking this whackjob seriously, I don't think anyone believes his story. To molest that many children and not be caught seems pretty unbelievable. Really it doesn't matter how many he actually did, if he molested one he's still sick. What really get me is that he apparently makes a case to the police that he is Uber-molestor with evidently no other charges pending against him.

It will be interesting to see what comes of this guy. He sounds like he very well might be a serial offender or on his way to be one. I'm guessing his claim was some twisted thought to make himself feel more self important maybe even saying it to rub the police's nose on how he had gotten away with it.

In cases like this and with serial offenders I think it would be have been interesting to have a background in behavioral science and be able to profile these sick fuckers to help catch them. It would be fascinating to get in their head, just don't want to stay there

Substitute Teacher/Molestor

And While I Am At It..

To the Democratic Party, please try to find a presidential candidate who is worth a shit. Sorry, that wasn't eloquent, but true. The last thing we need is another typical, business as usual partisan politician to kiss the same babies and shake the same hands or shake the babies and kiss the hands. We need new blood and we need someone different. The Republicans are as beatable as ever and if you fuck this up you deserve to be strip searched by Dick Cheney at Guantanamo.

If the Democratic Party champions Hillary Clinton as their standar bearer, they should be punched in the face just on the basis of total lack of imagination. If she is the best you can do, I'm going libertarian. There is no bigger snake oil selling, back room maneuvering shithead out there. And let me say this clearly and slowly, it has nothing to do with her being a woman. I don't have anywhere near as much problem with Feinstein & Boxer here in CA. The fact of the matter is that so many people violently hate this woman, I mean cause indigestion kind of hate that it would automatically hand a ton of votes over to the other side. So, let's see what can be done that actually makes sense if the goal is trying to break the current cycle of knuckledraggers in Washington.

Oh, and if you are anywhere near the liberal spectrum, don't split your vote for some thrid-rate Snowball In Hell party. Vote for the Democratic candidate. If you plan to vote Green, please go tie yourself to a tree in an old growth forest and stay there.

One last thing, tone down the rhetoric. Even if you believe Bush is the Great Satan and you believe in every liberal cause in an extreme way, keep it a bit quiet we don't want to scare the average folk in the red areas too much.

Here's too new blood and new ideas, or at least some serious repackaging of the two.

Sending Evil Thoughts To..

The scuzzy bastards who came up with the internet ads for life insurance showing a little girl with the question in bold above her "Dad, what would Mommy and I do if you died?"

Pat, I would like to buy a WTF. Talk about sick and lame attempts to manipulate someone. There is another one with a little girl huddled in some crummy doorway apparently crying and it's point is that even if you die your family needs to go on. True, but make the point with a modicum of taste

I wish you people genital warts and itchy dry skin.