News from Shrubland

Headlines...

Iran to resume work on nuclear program Monday. President Bush will meet with advisors on strategies to prevent weapons grade material production. He will also consider what implications this has for their nucular program as well.

Seven more arrested in connection with failed London bombing. President Bush took the opportunity to reaffirm the Us-UK coalitions war on Tara. In a press conference Thursday, there was no further information from DoD on possible location of Rhett and Scarlet.

Threat level raised to Burnt Sienna. In response to Bush's repeated insistence on vigilance against evildoers, Homeland Security has advised U.S. Citizens to be on the look out for suspicious men in black cape and top hat carrying blonde damsels near railroad tracks. Homeland Security is concerned by potential attempts to derail Amtrak commuter trains. Although no word on results from the investigation of last years deadly Amtrak derailment, sources tell us they are sure it was deliberate act and will be asking the public's help in identifying the seventy-five cents in flattened U.S. coins used to derail the train.

Bolton's confirmation as U.N. Ambassador seen as increasingly difficult. When asked about Bolton's chance to be confirmed, Senator Ted Kennedy replied "This shouldn't be a bi-partisan vote if people looked at his background, he just isn't qualified. I mean, come on look how he fucked up When A Man Loves a Woman, there's no way he should be even considered."