Geeks, Dorks and Lurps: An Introduction

The release of the latest Star Wars has engendered some discussion on the nature of geeks. What is a geek? I am a geek. A number of my friends are geeks. We collect comics or baseball cards, spend considerable amounts of time on the computer, burn hours of our life on fantasy sports leagues or possess an inordinate amount of knowledge of trivia. Knowledge is the key here, the above average knowledge of the minute details of a beloved subject is the geek's raison d'etre. I don't consider people who are obsessed with an activity as in a sport, a geek. If the person is obsessive with all the history and knowledge regarding the sport then they may be a geek as well. Sports, also are generally treated by general populace as being cool. Basically, we have a hobby/obesssion that is not necessarily embraced by the general public.

Being a geek is not necessarily a bad thing. Many people like geeks. My friend Josh is a geek and his girlfriend, Rachel is well aware of it. I believe she referred to him as a sexy geek. Oxymoron you say? Nope. The basic geek can be anything we want since our interests don't get in the way of daily life. Ah, but if the geek devolves into a dork or a lurp, then we have problems.

Dorks are über-geeks. Everything is taken a step too far. So you are a huge fan of Lord of the Rings cool so am I. I don't dress up like an elf or an orc. If you use Star Wars to explain a real life situation, there is a good chance you will be called a dork.

I know a lot of geeks play computer games and they are geeks. Those who play them excessively, forgo life in general for them and realllly enjoy how they look as a Wood Elf are dorks. Dungeons & Dragons as I recall was extraordinarily time consuming to play. If you play it when you are young and can't go anywhere like we did you rank in geekdom. If you are in your 20's and schedule weekend long D&D games, I'm thinkng dork. If you stand in line for hours to see Star Wars the first day, you are probably a geek. Only dorks set up their little Magic:The Gathering game at a table at the head of the line to get into Star Wars.

Science Fiction/Fantasy is where the dork (or pinhead, nimrod and lame-o) thrives. You may have a lot of geeks at a baseball card collecting convention. In general they don't dress up like Rollie Fingers replete with moustache, because people would think you are a dork and just an asshole in general. Go to a Star Trek, Xena/Hercules or any Sci-Fi/Fantasy convention and it is loaded with people who brave scorn to express their unconditional, unconventional and oft unconscionable love by dressing up as their favorite character. Still, some of these people may be on the geek/dork border, other than those rare days at the conventions they may put it all in the closet and live a "normal" existence. Keeping the character alive at other times? Dork. Still, the dork may be able to make his way through life without too many hiccups. Such is not the case for the lurp.

The lurp, or loser is treated with disdain by all others. The lurp wilfully disregards or is ignorant of one or more standards such as hygiene, interpersonal communication, and accepted social behavior. Unfortunately, the prospects of raising a lurp up to a higher plateau is very difficult. Let's face it, if Doug doesn't realize wearing the same clothes for 3 days straight is not a good idea, we might have problems getting him in line for an executive position or a shot at the prom queen. Most lurps are deserving of pity, but now and then comes the trog. Trogs, short for troglodyte are lurps who have developed a disagreeable or flat out nasty disposition. These little fuckers are misery to all around them. At best, a trog will be a griping, ornery type. At his worst he will be a nasty, vituperative, borderline schizophrenic rat bastard. Rarely do trogs feel joy, and when they do is when someone else "gets what's coming to them." Trogs will piss on your barbeque then turn around and tell you it was a bad idea to cook outdoors. There is no known cure for troglodytism, it is best to just sterilize them and put them in a compound to live out the remainder of their miserable days.

So, my good people, love your geek, help your dork, pray for your lurp and disavow any connection to a trog.