We Suck Donkey.... Story at 11

Does your local news suck.

These morons are constantly hyping up some bullshit story to get people hooked. The promo will be something that sounds ominous like

"A new threat to your child's safety could be right next to you and you might not even know it..... story at 11"

And then you get the story and it's either some freak occurence that happened when there was a convergence of 3 other freak occurences, some low grade bacteria that may kill them in 30 years if they inhaled it in a paper bag every day, or something so mindlessly obvious like eating the new Spring Rain scented fabric softner sheets.

The other lame stories they try to push are the "controversial and shocking" Some of the real gems we've had here were:

Prostitutes soliciting out of vans. Oh heavens, soon they will be in hotels and coming to people's houses.

Tonight's story was about the controversial(yes they used that word) trend of women who like to fire machineguns out in the desert. Ok, you are digging deeper than the fucking Marianas Trench. How much of a trend can it be when next to noone can own fully auto weapons in the entire country. It's about as widespread as "The controversial trend of Gay Republicans hunting woodchucks with croquet mallets." Douchebags

So, this is why I am uninformed on local events, I read the headlines on line where I don't have to see the local talking head warning you of the dangerous youth pastime of Snow Drift diving in Southern California