Airline Safety

"In the case of a change of pre-booked in flight times please assume the crash position, that is bending over and grabbing your ankles."

I screwed up my flight times to Atlanta in order to make it easier for my parents to get me to/from LAX. I called American to see how bad changing it would be. All the airlines seem to be the same with this, not good. Sure enough, it would be an extra $535 to make the change, leaving an hour and a half earlier. Yes, that's it. Just to leave less than two hours earlier I would have to shell out over half a grand. So, on to plan B, whatever the hell that is