What are you saying?

I got stuck on a jury, I almost made it out of there but I got called in as Alternate #2 (out of 2), so I get to sit there for 2 days and then not even do anything. That really frosts my balls. Which brings me to the subject of the day.. sayings. I've picked up a variety of saying from many places, Dad, Grandfather, friends. Some of the sayings I've never been able to decipher, but here are some of my favorites.. Note: Not all are for the faint of heart.

Being Pissed: The aforementioned "That Really Frosts My Balls" Now I am assuming that in this case frost is frost as in extrememly cold since that would be unpleasant. The other implied meaning to frost as in put frosting on well that's something else, I mean if Natalie Portman wants to come over with some buttercream frosting.. then all I can say is call me cake. I digress.

Being Sick: Well if you just generally didn't feel well... "Feel like I was shot at and missed, shit at and hit". Of the more scatalogical sayings, if you had diarrhea then you were "Somewhere between shit and a brown sweat".

Screwing Up: Say you have a couple of people working on something and they don't have a clue.. "Looks like 3 monkeys trying to fuck a football" If someone was just screwed up totally then he "Didn't know whether to shit, throw up or go blind"

Temperature: "Colder than a well-digger's ass in the Klondike" "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" "Hotter than a whore's ass on payday" "I'm sweating like a pig at a luau"

Tough: "Harder than a whore's heart" "Stiffer than a wedding night dick"

Age: "My memory is short as my dick" "The only thing that gets hard now is my arteries"

Sex: Impotent? Then he's "Limp as a microwaved licorice whip" "Trying to shoot pool with a length of rope" "A woodless wonder"
Hooking up with an ugly girl/guy "Put a flag on their face and give them hell for Old Glory". Hooking up with the ugly so your friend can hook up with their good looking friend? Then you are "Falling or jumping on the grenade" ...

Well, these are it for now, always interested in hearng new ones